Summertime.

I'm done with you long days and short nights. Your hot hot weather. I'm finished with the trails of sweat dripping between my shoulder blades and collecting on my jeans.

Fuck you summer and your no summer romance. I'm done with your mosquitoes and bumble bees. I still hate you for frying my sunflowers.

I'm leaving you for the crisp autumn leaves. The only promise they make is not to promise anything.

Something I'm not used to writing. Bear with me while I attempt to evolve.

I thought I knew what love was and I wanted
to scatter it in pieces at my feet.
To pluck it from its grounding like a
porcelain vase cocooning flowers in its womb
and smack it on the floor.

The lavender and white orchids land quietly
while the rest cracks solid against cool kitchen tile.
I wanted to squeeze the shards in my hands,
watch the blood slide from my palms and
pray this would scar.

I wanted to pull my dress at every seem
til it tore from my body.
For the shrapnel to run my tights and
dig into my knees while I crawl across the floor.
I wanted to collapse on the sharp edges and
wait for you to find me here
in a stupor of laughter.

Mostly, I wanted you.

Unrelated Haikus

1.
I devoted the
day to remember your laugh.
I just cried instead.

2.
Mom taught us how to
hold our booze and forget how
to feel the longing.

3.
Maybe I should get
some medication to help
me fight the fake wasps.

4.
You said I was too
cold towards you. But I'm just weak
on your perfect hands.

5.
I thought about your lips
and wanted to steal a kiss
but feared your response.

6.
Sitting on my roof
chain smoking my cigarettes
wishing you were here.

7.
First time I missed you
I was eight hours away
pulling on Ruth's arm.

8.
I haven't dealt with
much since I turned four. I'm an
apathetic well.

Because I am known as "Squid"

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